The 10 Virgins, Part 2

I just had to put this poem into my blog. My blog is my journal, pretty much and so there will be occasions that I post things that are more for my benefit than anyone elses, although I hope you find the kind of inspiration that I do from the poem. I believe that this parable is especially one for us as women of God to contemplate. I know I need to reflect on it more often. Keep on going. I love everyone today. The kids are driving me batty but today is still a good day. It's amazing to me how that happens. Anyway. . . I've got to go and deal with those children of mine so today, this is short. Love to all, and God be with you.

The 10 Virgins

10 Virgins

A parable the Savior told to His disciples long ago
Of wise and also foolish ways, of signs and saints in latter-days.
The things He saw, we too can see, when next He comes to you and me.

Ten virgins bearing lamps alight awaited the bridegroom through the night.
Invited, honored guests they came, some wise – some foolish, not the same.
Those who have eyes will surely see, they’re much the same as you and me.

The first bears palms for homage true, an olive branch, a lily, too.
Her voice speaks peace; she’s humble, meek; she often turns the other cheek.
So pure in heart, oh, could it be – that this first virgin could be me?

The second, gowned in burial white, seems searching for a heavenly sight.
The sacrament – her gift of love; the wheat and water decreed above.
Her repentant heart we all can see; perhaps this virgin could be me.

The third in Priesthood blue and gold concerns herself with young and old;
Ordinances for the living and the dead, two doves she brings the Prince who weds –
The Holy Ghost and sealings’ key, this lovely virgin must be me.

Tall and fair with scrolls and tyre, the fourth seeks truth and knowledge power.
She sets her goals on talents bright, keeping eternity in sight.
She’ll reach her goals and grow to be the kind of virgin I would be.

But wait, more wise than many others, the fifth gives charity to her bro thers.
Quietly, gently, her fruits are shared with all who need her loving care.
Even the foolishes’ needs she sees; oh, that this virgin might be me.

The sixth in proud and rich array lacks for naught along life’s way.
The treasures of the earth she brings; ‘tis more to earth than heav’n she clings.
In her I see a part of me; is this the virgin I will be?

The seventh is surely pleasure’s child, in dress and pose, not meek or mild.
It’s time for eat and drink and fun; there’s ample time ere the bridegroom comes.
Her foolishness she cannot see; do others see that part of me?

The eighth has much to overcome – addictions and excess have quite undone
That temple holy her soul once was, now all eroded for sins’ own cause.
If I’m not careful as can be, this foolish virgin will be me.

The virgin nine who loves the dark, in secret seeks to leave her mark.
Drawing others from the light, she sees all things with Satan’s sight.
Her foolishness is sad to see; don’t let her be a part of me.

Should I become a virgin ten, with power over the acts of men,
A troubled conscience I might know, as through the busy world I go;
All ego and dishonesty is what the world expects of me.

Am I more foolish or more wise? Am I living in disguise?
Do I gather oil ever bright, to keep my gospel flame alight?
When the bridegroom comes, I pray He’ll see one wise virgin will be me.

Danny's Well Baby Appointment

Well today was Danny's 4 month well-baby appointment, so I figured I'd give an update on our little guy here. Well, he's not so little but he's the littlest in this family as of right now. However, is gaining very well on his cousin Reid who is 6 months older than him, and we all thought Reid was big (which he is, that's what is so weird).

Danny weighs 15.31 pounds and is 24.75 inches long. He's in the 50th percentile for height and the 60th percentile for weight. He still has a slight murmur, but it's nothing to worry about. Doctor says he's doing very well, and now we get to start him on some solid foods. We'll see how he does with that in the upcoming weeks. He cried pretty good when he got his shots which just hurts mommy's heart but they are necessary and I told him that at least he wasn't his daddy right now. He cheered up pretty fast, and seems to be in a pretty good mood now. He's such a little sweetheart.

My Daily Strength

You know the one thing about children that I find to be the most uplifting and yet also so baffling is the fact that this beautiful little ones can drive you completely insane and at the same time make you feel so loved, so comforted at times of stress and emotional crisis. My children are amazing. The noise, the fighting (which doesn't happen constantly but still happens), the whining, the disobedience, it all drives me to insanity. Most of the time I just want to yank all my hair out and run screaming down the road, and yet, when I feel the most lonely, when I feel the most lost, I look into those beautiful little kids eyes, my whole world comes into focus and I feel my spirit spring upward. They make me so happy to be alive. With Joe gone and all, each day is a toss up as to how I will feel. But my children, when I am the most down give me purpose. I love these beautiful little kids. I love this look. I was looking for a smile, and I get a "what mom, I'm playing."
Those beautiful rosy cheeks and the little dot of spaghetti sauce. Can't beat that.
This smile makes my world spin. This little boy is an absolute angel. His laught brightens every room. When I hold him and he hugs me tight, I never want to let go. Thank you God for sending me my third sweet little boy. You are an amazing addition to our little family.
This one. His laugh also lightens my heart. And there's nothing better than wearing a strainer as his hat.
That hair and that smile. Emma, I admit, is the hardest for me to handle. She is very whinny, very loud, very sassy, but when she smiles at me, nothing else matters. My little girl. My little surprise.
Those fingers are so yummy. He does this constantly. It's so cute. I'm waiting for him to get the thumb but so far, it's just the fingers.
I was sure trying to get her not to pose with her hands all funny like she's been doing lately. As a result she puffs herself up. She's so funny. She claims that unless she puts her hands in different poses, she's not beautiful. She is so beautiful though.
Sure trying to crawl again. He's so cute. He did it at the picnic because of his boots. He was able to get real traction and move forward, but on the carpet with no shoes on he doesn't quite go, but he sure as heck tries.
Oh, my big boy is so sweet. I keep trying to get him to smile, but he always looks like he is smelling something funny. I told him to just look happy and this is the result. He tries so hard to take good care of his mommy and his siblings. He's such an amazing little boy. I am so proud of him. He is freakishly smart, has a photographic memory, and even as his mother knowing how smart this little one is, he still manages to blow my mind away every day. I just hope and pray that I can give him what he needs to really excell.

My life is truly amazing. I have wonderful children, and I can honestly say that, even after fighting with them about going to bed. I have an amazing husband, who loves me like no other ever has, and who I love more than words can even begin to express. If I had nothing else in this world, as long as I had Joe and our children my life would be complete. I just pray every day that they will always know just how much I love them. With Joe so far away, I hate that I can't tell him that I love him as much as I would like, but I know he knows. I miss him so much. It hurts to have him away, and even that feeling is made worse whenever I look into my little ones' eyes as they beg for their daddy and don't understand why their mommy, who can do anything, can't she? afterall she is their mother, can't make him come home. It makes me so sad. It's especially bad for Emma. Porter and Dan are still too young, they know something is missing but they can't formulate what and so they cling to mom. Hyrum is old enough to know that Daddy will come home when he can but he knows Mom doesn't have any control over it, but he still clings to me for fear I will leave too. Emma is the worst. She acts out, says she has headaches all the time, and begs mommy to bring daddy home. Whether or not she goes to primary is hit or miss, because she wants to be with mom. She says she is sick and wants to go home. She's also afraid that mom will go away too. I don't know how to explain to them that I am not going anywhere. I try, but I wish so much for them to know that I love them and I am not going away, and that their daddy didn't leave them, he just had to go away for a while to help other people and he will be home before they even know it. Oh I love these little ones so much. God be with them. God be with me to make them feel safe and so very loved, as they are.

Family Easter Picnic

Well, I guess I should apologize again, this one is even longer than the last one. Sorry I don't use slideshows, but even though I love other people's slideshows, I also hate them because they don't give me any real time to look at pictures and so I do my pages like this so enjoy. Here's Aunt Kerrin and Danny. So cute. Aunt Kerrin came to visit from Rexburg for Easter, so it was a real treat to have her with us.
Porter had a blast with the balls. He wouldn't put the football down and here he is playing soccer with his Aunt Melinda.
Hyrum was playing catch with Uncle Geoff. He didn't quite get the way that the glove was suppose to work. He decided to try and catch it with his mouth.
Emma playing soccer. She proved that she will definitely be my little sport's girl.
Little Baby Reid pretending to be Grandpa Grossman (anyone in the family who knows Grandpa G, will agree). Here he is with his Daddy, Uncle Rod.
Aunt Kerrin helping Porter talk into the modern version of the tin can.
Emma playing on the playground. Isn't she beautiful?
Merny playing on the playground. Oh, he had so much fun. It was just really a great day.
Smiling in the sunshine and so wishing he could join in on the running about. In fact, he proved it!! HE STARTED CRAWLING!!!!!! I am serious. He was on his belly and started moving himself forward. He didn't go far or move very fast, otherwise I would have tried to video it with my camara, but he did move forward about a foot and a half all on his own. He's only 4 months old and he's already on the move. I don't know what I'm going to do. Not like they all don't give me a run for my money already. It's a bit scary, but Mommy is SOOOOO proud of her little Danny boy!!!!
Mommy playing with Porter. We had just crossed the bridge. He wouldn't cross them himself; he had to be carried across any of the bridges. It was cute.

So excited to play. We had a couple of accidents, including falling of the jungle gym but man he had fun.
Aunt Kerrin doing the toting.
Emma goes weeeee!
Man these are yummy fingers.
Emma playing with the phone. She thought this was so cool but she need a little lift up there.

Aunt Jenny and Uncle Jon join in on the fun. What a great looking pair. We sure love them.
Grandma and Grandpa Merkley. We sure love them.
Uncle Geoff and Aunt Morgan are visiting from D.C. We love having them around. Aunt Cindy joined us as well, she's Grandma's sister.
Uncle Rod, Aunt Melinda, and the little Reidster. We love them too.
Mern takes a ride on the zipline. Emma did it too later, but Mom didn't get a picture of that.

All in all this was a great day. When we first got there it was a bit cold. We were up at North Canyon Park in Bountiful. That's up by where the temple is so it's up on the mountain. It sure is a beautiful view. However, as the day went on it got down right warm. It was just beautiful. The kids had so much fun playing for hours on the playground and playing with family. It was great to have a fun filled day. I'm completely exhausted now though, which is the only problem. Partly because we were out in the sun all day long and also because I was up until midnight waiting for Aunt Kerrin to get here. Would have gone to sleep but I don't like just leaving my door unlocked with me alone with the kids and me asleep. Anyway, it sure is nice having her here to visit and give me a little break and today was a blast. It's always so much fun just hanging and playing with family.

A Day at the Zoo

I pre-apologize, this is quite long. Porter chillin' in his new zoo sunglasses.

Mommy and her baby. Lunchtime. This was so cute.
Welcome to the zoo. Here's all the kids totally excited. It really turned out to be a gorgeous day. It was great.
We just got treats and Danny is screaming bloody murder because the sun is in his eyes.
Mern and his new sunglasses.
Emma smashing in her new zoo hat.

All four in front of the wrestling bears. Danny again screaming because the sun is in his eyes.
Wrestling bears. Everyone at the zoo was so excited about this.
The cougar came right up to the fence, staring at everyone. She is pretty.
Danny and Porter checking out the cougars.
Hyrum and Emma in front of the cougar cage.

Mern took the picture. That would be his finger but at least mom got to be in one picture. Here we are riding the train.
Porter riding the train. He loved it. When we got there, they had to gas up the train and so they took it away and he cried like mad. Then we finally got on and he loved it. Then when we had to get off, he cried and cried. I felt so bad.
Emma excited to ride the train.
Mern riding the train.
The kids in front of the giraffes. Finally one that Dan isn't crying in.

This really was a great day. It was suppose to rain and so I was so apprehensive about going. Man, I am glad we did. It really was so much fun. Mom finally got some good exercise and the kids had a lot of fun. We walked the zoo and then they played on the playground for a while, then the train. It was absolutely beautiful. In fact Mern, Porter, and Mom all got hot and had to take off their coats. Just an absolutely perfect day with the kids.

He Did It!!!!!

It's official. I'm a big boy. I rolled over this evening. Guess I finally learned to use my weight. My mommy is so proud of me. In fact, mommy was so proud, she shouted and clapped and scared me to death. I cried for five minutes. I don't much like loud noises. Mommy felt very bad but she was still so proud of me.

Yes he did it himself. He put on his own shoes for the first time. They are even on the right feet. Mommy was so proud. Mommy got alot of proud moments today. She needed it.

Oh yes, I did need these proud moments today. Today was horrible. My kids were beyond dreadful. They wouldn't stop screaming, crying, and arguing with one another all day long. I was ready to pull all my hair out and run away. Everyone keeps telling me how strong I am and how they don't know how I do it. The fact of the matter is that I don't deserve such praise. Most days I don't do it. I go crazy. Thankfully, I am greatly blessed in that I love my children so much and so I may yell and give them time outs but no matter how much I sometimes want to, I would never really run away from them. Today I feel like I've been driven mad. I'm just so thankful they've gone to bed. Can't gaurantee they are asleep but at least they are in bed and mommy can have some 'get her sanity back' time. Oh please, oh please, let tomorrow be better than today.



I also was able to buy a new double stroller. I love this thing. Now I can go for walks with the kids. Even tried to today but Emma screamed and cried that she wanted to go home. I got to go about a block before I had to give up and go home. I seriously don't know what was wrong with her today. She was the worst.