25 Things About Me

Alright I am going to attempt this here since everyone I know seems fit to tag me on Facebook with this particular note. I can say that either there will be more than 25 or less. We'll see. . .

1. I wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember, until I actually became one and then I wonder alot of the time, what on earth I was thinking and who told me that motherhood was so wonderful. Not that I don't love being a mom to my wonderful kids, it's just that when I was young motherhood was so idealized that the reality can get me pretty down.

2. I am extremely impatient.

3. I find people who spout things off in ignorance to be extremely annoying. Some things should be taken on faith, but we have also been blessed with much knowledge, seek after it!!

4. I love to learn. I miss going to school because I miss homework, that expansion of mind.

5. I LOVE to read. I always have my nose in a book. I go through phases of so called "fun" books and then those that others would call "intelligent" books. To me though, all books have something to teach us, if we are willing to take the time and the journey. I often make up study guides as I go through a book, usually in my head since I don't have the time to write it all down with 4 kids running around.

6. I have no idea what I did to deserve him, but I have the best husband in the world. You may disagree but I do.

7. I don't condemn people. I know I make judgments of others and I hate that about myself, but I don't condemn them. That's not my job and I can't stand others who do condemn those around them just because they don't live up to whatever they may think people should.

8. In turn, I can't stand people who judge others. I guess that makes me judgmental and hence a hypocrite, but I don't condemn those who choose to judge, I just don't like them.

9. I'm absolutely terrified to be myself, especially around most of the people I meet in Utah, for fear that they won't like me because I'm not perfect or may not believe everything they do.

10. I am LDS but that does not mean I am a "molly mormon" or that I even flow down the mainstream of thought when it comes to the church.

11. I am a fierce friend, but that also makes my expectations of real friendship very high. I expect just as I give out, unfortunately that has made me very reserved in making real friends especially lately because in my younger years, I learned that the people I chose to make friends with, didn't adhere to the same ideas of real friendship as I do.

12. I plan on seeking a graduate degree eventually and it both excites and terrifies me. I have no idea what I would be truly good at. And I'm also terrified at the references part of the graduate application, who on earth am I ever going to get to give me a reference. . .

13. I've always felt that I was born in the wrong country and at the wrong time in history.

14. I've suffered from anxiety and depression since I was 12 but hate all medication because I've never found anything that's side effects weren't worse then dealing with all the crap.

15. I really wish that my personal family was closer to one another.

16. There is nothing sweeter then when my kids give my owwies kisses. Like a kiss on my forehead will make my migraine go away. I love that.

17. Although I am frustrated with the lack of time for myself, I really do love my kids. They are the best.

18. I hate arguments. I hate contention, and even though I may rage in private, I will often hold my tongue with others because even if I'm right and have a right to be angry, I can't stand harsh words and anger, so I avoid conflict at all costs.

19. I think the education in the U.S. is a joke.

20. I really wish I could get a book club going, where intelligent conversation is the goal, and people aren't afraid to have their sensibilities shaken.

21. I am very excited about moving away from Utah, even if it's only for a year, but am extremely terrified at the prospect of trying to sell my home.

22. I hate whiners.

23. I've actually written a book (or rather a long short story) but am absolutely terrified to seek trying to publish it.

24. I hate criticism. Largely because most people don't know how to give it. They give it out of what they think is right and to me that is their opinion not constructive. If criticism is given it must be a product of the receivers goals. i.e. If someone has asked you to loose weight and they have a goal of loosing 30 lbs, but have been sneaking chocolate all day, criticism may be warranted. Or correcting grammar on a paper or trying to show a better way to say something in a paper is proper criticism; however, saying that something sucks just because you personally didn't like it, is neither kind nor constructive.

25. I am not a girly girl and as a result often have no idea what to do with Emma because all she wants is princess stuff.

26. Extra: I am a neat freak although you would never know it to look at my house. My kids are slobs and so I spend most of the day in a constant state of agitation because I don't feel like I have enough time or patience to keep it as clean as I would like or enough money or space to keep everything organized. I hate those things that don't fit into any category and wish I could just throw them away. . .

Cheers. Love you all!

Happy Birthday Hyrum!!

My big baby boy!! I can't believe it. Hyrum is 7 years old!! He is so excited, and so happy that in a year he'll be 8, and can be baptized. He is without a doubt, the sweetest little man. He is such a big helper for his mom. He loves to read and loves trains. He loves everyone. He never stops talking or doing, and never seems to focus on one thing very long, largely in part because he LOVES everything. I am so blessed to be his mother. He is such a wonderful big brother and all his siblings LOVE him so much. What a wonderful extraordinary addition to our family. Happy Birthday Mern!

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

I've been trying to get a better one of Danny, and he was doing it but when I get out the camera, he get's all shy. Porter wanted to participate. It may be hard to hear, but it's too cute. The one's below are the best I could get out of Dan. I'll keep trying. . .

Singing Danny

I recorded all of Christmas, mainly for Joe, so I don't really have pictures and the video is way too long anyway. Plus, Porter threw a temper tantrum and so no one but his dad, who thought that was funny, would want to see that anyway. One of Danny's gifts was a Tad leap frog that plays music for him and all sorts of stuff. When it started singing and he started rocking the frog and singing along, I had to get what I could on tape. He had done it for a while before I got the video of it, so what I got may not show just how cute this is, but he's taken to singing alot lately. If his brother or sister starts singing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" he starts singing along. Obviously he doesn't have the real words yet, but it's like he's trying. It's so adorable. He already loves to dance, so I guess it should be no surprise that he loves to sing.

Now for Porter, his temper tantrum was horrible, and you will probably still hear him screaming in the background. He got Whack a Mole for one of his presents. Well, he LOVED it. He loved it so much that he didn't want anything else and when I tried to show him his other gifts, he screamed no and said they weren't his they were Danny's. I tried to tell him that they were his and then he freaked out. He had to go to his room while the others opened their gifts and mommy had to take the game away for a couple of days until he could calm down and share and play with his siblings. After the game was removed from sight, he warmed up quickly to his other gifts, but that was after screaming bloody murder in his room for 30 minutes. And yes, when I told Joe all about it on the phone that night, he thought it was hilarious. I did not. But I guess it makes for one very interesting Christmas memory.

Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam

Porter's first day of Sunbeams was this past Sunday. This picture was taken that evening. He was still distraught. If you look close enough, you can see his little tears. I had to take him in and at first he refused. I had to drag him in and then he refused to sit, so one of the teachers had to take him as he screamed bloody murder. He lapsed into his Porter silence. Then they went to class and saw me in the hallway with Dan. He ran to me yelling "Mommy!" and started crying again. I told him I had to take him to class. He wouldn't go himself, so I had to take him. He was sulking, but went. He ignored me on the way back to closing exercises. Then, when he came to me after Primary, he cried all the way down the hall, all the way home, all the rest of that day. It absolutely broke my heart. If anyone knows Porter, one can really understand the heartbreak in watching him deal with this. Porter has always been the suffer in silence and then it all leaks out type. So to have something emotionally overwhelm him so immediately, it had to have been terrible and horrifying for him. Primary is a wonderful thing, but he hated it. I'm terrified to go to church on Sunday. Everyone tells me he'll get use to it, but it doesn't make it any better for me. Porter is so sensitive, and it aches me to the very core that there really is nothing I can do to help him with this. Man I love this kid.

America's Funniest Home Video

Well, I don't know about the rest of you but I think this is so freaking funny. We did it with Porter at my parents' house because when Hyrum was about the same age we did this and my mom videoed it. It was so freaking funny that we wanted to see if Porter would have the same reaction being the similar age. The fact was, he LOVED it. He wanted to keep being spun around. This was recorded on his third spin, so I was starting to get a bit concerned that he was going to throw up all over Kerrin, but he didn't and he thought it was fun.

One note on his jammies in this one, he kept pulling them up to his armpits. We did it to him once but after that he kept doing it himself. If they fell down, he would yank them all the way up again. He's so funny. I love this little man.

Also, today was Porter's first day of Primary. He's a Sunbeam now!! He HATED it!! I was so sad. He actually made me cry because he couldn't stop crying and I don't think I have ever seen someone who looked so completely and utterly miserable in all my life. He not only cried at church, but continued to have crying fits for the rest of the day at home. Everyone says he'll get use to it; I just hope that happens before his Dad comes home, because I don't think I can handle the heartbreak of that little one's miserable face all alone for the next eight weeks!! Pray for him. Man I love that kid!!

Walking Man

So Danny has become a little toddler. He started taking steps about a month ago now. He's gotten pretty good and now toddles all over the house. We still have a lot of bumps, especially on the noggin, as he runs into things alot but he gets better everyday. I apologize that it's sideways; I always forget that the camcorder does that.