25 Things About Me

Alright I am going to attempt this here since everyone I know seems fit to tag me on Facebook with this particular note. I can say that either there will be more than 25 or less. We'll see. . .

1. I wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember, until I actually became one and then I wonder alot of the time, what on earth I was thinking and who told me that motherhood was so wonderful. Not that I don't love being a mom to my wonderful kids, it's just that when I was young motherhood was so idealized that the reality can get me pretty down.

2. I am extremely impatient.

3. I find people who spout things off in ignorance to be extremely annoying. Some things should be taken on faith, but we have also been blessed with much knowledge, seek after it!!

4. I love to learn. I miss going to school because I miss homework, that expansion of mind.

5. I LOVE to read. I always have my nose in a book. I go through phases of so called "fun" books and then those that others would call "intelligent" books. To me though, all books have something to teach us, if we are willing to take the time and the journey. I often make up study guides as I go through a book, usually in my head since I don't have the time to write it all down with 4 kids running around.

6. I have no idea what I did to deserve him, but I have the best husband in the world. You may disagree but I do.

7. I don't condemn people. I know I make judgments of others and I hate that about myself, but I don't condemn them. That's not my job and I can't stand others who do condemn those around them just because they don't live up to whatever they may think people should.

8. In turn, I can't stand people who judge others. I guess that makes me judgmental and hence a hypocrite, but I don't condemn those who choose to judge, I just don't like them.

9. I'm absolutely terrified to be myself, especially around most of the people I meet in Utah, for fear that they won't like me because I'm not perfect or may not believe everything they do.

10. I am LDS but that does not mean I am a "molly mormon" or that I even flow down the mainstream of thought when it comes to the church.

11. I am a fierce friend, but that also makes my expectations of real friendship very high. I expect just as I give out, unfortunately that has made me very reserved in making real friends especially lately because in my younger years, I learned that the people I chose to make friends with, didn't adhere to the same ideas of real friendship as I do.

12. I plan on seeking a graduate degree eventually and it both excites and terrifies me. I have no idea what I would be truly good at. And I'm also terrified at the references part of the graduate application, who on earth am I ever going to get to give me a reference. . .

13. I've always felt that I was born in the wrong country and at the wrong time in history.

14. I've suffered from anxiety and depression since I was 12 but hate all medication because I've never found anything that's side effects weren't worse then dealing with all the crap.

15. I really wish that my personal family was closer to one another.

16. There is nothing sweeter then when my kids give my owwies kisses. Like a kiss on my forehead will make my migraine go away. I love that.

17. Although I am frustrated with the lack of time for myself, I really do love my kids. They are the best.

18. I hate arguments. I hate contention, and even though I may rage in private, I will often hold my tongue with others because even if I'm right and have a right to be angry, I can't stand harsh words and anger, so I avoid conflict at all costs.

19. I think the education in the U.S. is a joke.

20. I really wish I could get a book club going, where intelligent conversation is the goal, and people aren't afraid to have their sensibilities shaken.

21. I am very excited about moving away from Utah, even if it's only for a year, but am extremely terrified at the prospect of trying to sell my home.

22. I hate whiners.

23. I've actually written a book (or rather a long short story) but am absolutely terrified to seek trying to publish it.

24. I hate criticism. Largely because most people don't know how to give it. They give it out of what they think is right and to me that is their opinion not constructive. If criticism is given it must be a product of the receivers goals. i.e. If someone has asked you to loose weight and they have a goal of loosing 30 lbs, but have been sneaking chocolate all day, criticism may be warranted. Or correcting grammar on a paper or trying to show a better way to say something in a paper is proper criticism; however, saying that something sucks just because you personally didn't like it, is neither kind nor constructive.

25. I am not a girly girl and as a result often have no idea what to do with Emma because all she wants is princess stuff.

26. Extra: I am a neat freak although you would never know it to look at my house. My kids are slobs and so I spend most of the day in a constant state of agitation because I don't feel like I have enough time or patience to keep it as clean as I would like or enough money or space to keep everything organized. I hate those things that don't fit into any category and wish I could just throw them away. . .

Cheers. Love you all!