No fun pictures today, sorry. Just need to vent, I'm afraid. Me and the kids have been horrible sick for the last four days and I've just had it. Last night I lost it. I am so lonely. I have little to no contact with adults which is so frustrating. Sunday my home teachers were suppose to come by after church. I was so looking forward to having an adult to talk to even if they were only a couple of guys. We didn't make it to church on Sunday because we were all so sick and then the home teachers didn't even come by for their appointment. No call, no show, nothing. Now I would call them and give them a piece of my mind, the only problem is that I don't have their contact information. I also don't seem to have visiting teachers either. No lack of begging the Bishop to do something about it and although I am sure that he has spoken to the other leadership, it doesn't seem to be doing any good. This is all made worse by whatever the heck it is we all seem to have. Emma and mom seem to have it the worst. We are absolutely miserable and I have had it with being sick. This is the second time in three weeks and this is worse than last time. Emma has been a complete witch to her brothers, and although I know it is because she is absolutely miserable, it is really getting difficult. Porter couldn't sleep all night because he was hacking up a lung. Hyrum thankfully is finally feeling better; he missed school yesterday but felt well enough to go today. Dan didn't even sleep well last night and I've hardly gotten no sleep the last three nights. I'm just so freaking frustrated.
I also hate that even though I would love to have more friends, I just don't seem to make them so easily. We've moved around so much that by the time I start making friends, we are moving again. I just wish that I had more friends to just hang out. I love to talk. I know my life isn't all that exciting but I still could use someone to talk to on a regular basis. Alot of people I meet already have some friends, and I guess they just assume that everyone has this base of friends. I've never made friends easily and to be honest I'm not entirely sure why. I think alot of people assume things about me because it's hard for me to just walk up to people I don't know and open up, but the thing is, all they have to do is start talking to me and I will never shut up. I guess I just wish that the Lord would bless me with at least a few really great friends, ones that I could talk to almost everyday. I wish I could make some around here as well. I love it when people just stop on by. I use to have a friend like that when I lived in California. She was the first person to believe me when I said, "I love it when people just drop by, anytime." It was great to have a friend like that. After we moved though, we drifted apart just like all my other friends, and that is something that really bothers me. My house is usually a mess and I'm not always so put together either, but I really do love people to just drop on by. Bring your kids, bring your projects, just come on by. I guess people don't think I'm serious because most people wouldn't like someone to come by unannounced. Me, I just love the company.
Oh well, honestly I could keep going but I think that I've complained enough.
2 comments:
hey, even though we're states apart still, I could use the grown up conversation sometimes too if you feel like talking. Email me.
You know, if I lived closer to you guys I would just come over because I am the same way. I wish I had a friend too. I usually don't open up and talk to people because in my head I believe that people don't really care about what I have to say. I don't know where I got that from. I wasn't like that before I went Germany, I don't think anyway. Maybe that is what did it to me.
I worry about you now that Joe is gone. If you ever have a day where you just need to talk to someone give me a call. I always have my phone on and usually answer unless I am in class or at work. I'm serious, if you need to, call me.
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